Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
