just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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