i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
