Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
