Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
