So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
