I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
