based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
