her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize