Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
