What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Randomize
