you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
