I showed him my bush... on skype.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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