I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
