How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
So squirting runs in the family.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
