Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
