"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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