Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Duck Duck Cougar?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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