I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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