I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
