He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
