I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
