Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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