Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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