Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
