Whod you bang
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
