You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He shit in the fireplace
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
