fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
