Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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