my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
