Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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