ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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