hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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