So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Boobs speak an international language.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
