That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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