have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
