how hairy? two words: wookie tits
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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