She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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