I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
