If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
where does the pee come out of this thing
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
