I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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