So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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