Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I have fence marks all over my body
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
