How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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