You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
My bed smells like the plague
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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