Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
