I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
