Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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