Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
