i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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