Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
