I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
