He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
