We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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