Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He better not be in your backpack
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
